I am living life day by day. I’m handling every situation I come across as calmly as I can.
And I’ve never felt better. I’ve never felt so at ease or at peace.
But yesterday, I thought about you and I caught myself overanalyzing all the little things we would say or do to each other. And it hurts to think about it.
And today I thought I saw you driving.. And my heart sunk.
It all still hurts because I’m still healing from the loss of you, but it doesn’t hurt as much… It doesn’t feel like knives in my heart anymore. It doesn’t feel like my heart is shattering.
So I’m healing. And I’m proud of that.
I let whatever feelings you give me come, and I let them go… They no longer serve me in a positive way.. So I’m not dwelling or wallowing in the things that cause me pain.
You weren’t a one in a million kind of guy. You aren’t the only one out there. There’s so much MORE out there. There is definitely a guy out there who has so much to offer me… So much more than you ever would be able to.
So I can’t say that I’m fully past what happened between us. I find myself thinking about you and wondering if you are okay.. But I don’t feel the yearn to have you want me.
I’m confident to say that I’m healing. And I’m finally experiencing better things and I’m not worried that I won’t end up happy.
I know I will be.
I think back and realize that it’s your loss, not mine. You had someone so willing to give you everything, but I’m glad you were selfish and didn’t let me.
Because us know you would never reciprocate anything back to me.
So today, I’m happy and at peace. You will never ruin that ever again. No one will. This healing process is slow, but it is constant and one day I will wake up and not by affected by you ever again.