A little stressed.
A little down
A little over emotional
Once again, I feel lost with no way to gain a sense of direction.
Last year, I thought I had it all figured out.
Now, I’m not sure what my purpose is or what direction I should take.
I really don’t think I’m really great at something to make the decision that “that’s what I wanna make a living off of.”
I have many passions, but I don’t feel like I excel at any of them.
So I feel stuck and unsure of what to do.
Things just pile up and get to me and my heart feels a stinging pain often.
I still miss my uncle. He wasn’t just another family member. He was one of my closest family members whom I loved so dearly. My other dad. Losing him is with me everyday and the pain of wishing he was still here never goes away.
People have made me feel that I’m not good or worthy enough to care about.
The intentions of others may not have been to hurt me, but that’s how I feel. Hurt. And I can’t change my emotions because someone didn’t intend for that to happen.
I wish I had more unconditional love coming my way… I wish I could receive just a little understanding about everything that I’m dealing with.
One day I’m so happy and full of life.
Other days I’m so self conscious and down and feeling unworthy.
I feel like I need someone to push me to get going. I don’t know where I need to get going to… But I need someone to care enough to say: “Oli, go out and do this because you are so passionate about it” or “Olivia you are amazing at this, keep on going and don’t stop”
I need to feel that I can do anything I want and set my mind to. I don’t want to set shy limits to my future or little things in my everyday life.
If I want to be an entrepreneur, I want to feel confident enough to know that I CAN do it, because I could if I really wanted to.
If I want to wear that dark plum lipstick to work, I want to feel like I can rock it and I want to not care what others think.
If someone offends me or hurts my feelings I want to express how I feel to them kindly and not hold in my thoughts.
I want confidence.
I want my determination and drive back